Every thought that goes through my head
I tear right out of its bed.
If it doesn’t stand with the Word of Life,
Then it sees nothing but my knife.
When feelings stand and shout their lies
There is a part of me I know that dies.
‘Til I tell them “you I see”
And “this is what I know to be.”
Because there is a truth that’s real
You can’t listen to what you feel.
Just fight to get on through
And cling to what you know is true.
I drive this road along a canyon
The miles tick away
Lost in a world so vast
It can be crossed in a day
Across the gap my goal I can see
Where I’ll be today
Forced on a path around
Through all the sights on the way
My eyes they see a prize worth taking
A place I long to stay
But I feel I’ll not be
Along this endless highway
When at last I lay it down
This sword will be bloody
For now it has no sheath
Except in my foe’s body.
When at last my Lord removes them
My breastplate, my greaves will be dented
My gauntlets, my helm will be worn
But my soul is forever restored.
When at last this war is won
I’ll join the victors at the gates
But I am not there yet
So I’m jumping the grave
I’m gonna run one more day.
When at last I am brought home
My King will give me rest
And say to me
“You’ve done well”
With a lifeline I cling to
I stare out in longing
At the ever amazing ocean,
But cannot let go to swim
Out there all on my own.
Hold me up, keep me safe.
Hold me back, keep me still.
Why is this safety net
Made of razor wire?
Can I swim on my own
If I just let go?
Or will I drown,
My mind shut down?
There’s a joy when I know,
A bounce none can deny.
I can be all I see
Knowing what is behind me.
But then I’m hit with a lie
I tend to believe.
What I know feels wrong
And I question the song.
But through my tears
I see you kneel.
You take my palms
And quell my qualms.
With your truth comes a dawn.
Though I’m never without woe
I can stand and continue on.
Because I know,
Though my life may be gone,
Resurrection is Your show.
Mother feeds me, she seeds me.
She warms her children, draws them strong.
We listen to her poison
And let the praise erode with sin
‘Til we have nothing left within.
Bury me ’til I’m suffocating.
Bury me ’til I can’t breathe in.
Bury me ’til I can’t see the sun,
‘Til all I can see is the Son.
Mother tells me to prune her garden
And calls me shepherd, carer.
Forget the stick, here’s a bloom.
Bury that heart beside this flower,
‘Til it has all your power.
Bury me ’til I’m suffocating.
Bury me ’til I can’t breathe in.
Bury me ’til I can’t see the sun,
‘Til all I can see is the Son.
Bury me
Then set me free as the Lion
To tear up her garden
And roar at the gnomes.
Give me claws, give me teeth
Give me all Mother took from my sheath.
Bury me ’til I’m suffocating.
Bury me ’til I can’t breathe in.
Bury me ’til I can’t see the sun,
‘Til all I can see is the Son.
Bury me
Then shout my name
And tell them my might.
Silence her lies
And give me your sight.
Brand me with truth
That I might be a light.
Shout my name so I may scream your own
And guide them from her garden
To your great throne.
A knight in shining armor
Is wanted by none.
What use is a warrior
Who hasn’t walked in the mud?
Pain is a magic
All and awe inspiring
Until you start inquiring
And realize the world is not tiring
That the pain is not umpiring
Doubt is a lens
That makes an anthill a mountain in your eyes.
But if you step through the disguise
You see your heel can squash its size
Fear is but a messenger
It warns you of the bourn
You were made to leave and never mourn
When you are thrown to the wolves
Do like the ancient ones have done
And make them hunt for your prey’s blood
And as a look behind the curtain, here’s the first draft of this poem:
Pain is magic
All and awe inspiring
Until you catch the wielder in his tricks
And you realize you’ve been fooled
That the rest of the world moves on
And the pain is but a sideshow.
Fear is but a messenger
Warning you of the limits
You were born to push.
Doubt is a lens
That makes an anthill a mountain in your eyes.
But if you take the step
You will find you can put it beneath your heel.
When they throw you to the wolves
Be like the ancients
And make them hunt for you.
A knight in shining armor
Is wanted by none.
What use is a warrior
Who hasn’t walked in the mud?
From every arrow which you are shot
Take the head and add it to your scales
Til you have the armor to take the world
All my life I’ve been staring at this wall
And reading the writing, a story for the ages
Full of heartache and loss
With a villainous hero
Who plays the mentor and the fool.
I’ve read about a battle for change
With victory a concept
True only in lies
That left him broken and falling,
Devastated by the loss
Of who might have been.
And no story is true
Without a love that no one wants
And a demon that no one hates.
And where’s the fun
If the hero has friends
When he needs them most?
These words etched into stone
Tell of a possession
That started as a deal
And ended without a soul.
And of a prison that none can see
But through the words of a book in green.
There is a character who is not a monster
And another who doesn’t know her.
One who speaks but they don’t hear
And one that has his books and wisdom.
There is one who is trapped in a jar
And who wants a tattoo on his sleeve.
At the end is an ellipsis
That moves farther down with each passing day.
The longer I stay
The more this fiction is written on this wall.
A war between copper and tin
Shredding a statue of bronze
And leaving it wonderin’
If it is the sum or if it is the parts
Or if it is a being of a different skin.
It is frozen in place,
In the corner of a garden,
Its eyes fixed on a sacred base
And the angel of gold stood on its face
With every hand placed on her skin
The molecules of his within
Break apart, not how they’ve been,
Until he fears that he will melt
To a puddle, when it’s felt
Will leave a burning and a welt
On all who notice where he dwelt.
He pleads the sculptor of his life
To keep his shape set through his strife
And turn him from his golden queen
Or lift her eyes to be his wife
On the floor of an open forum,
A hundred voices without decorum,
Drowning out the truth with distortion
And creating a chorus of extortion,
Beat me down and leave me imploring
The mouths of masters to break through the pouring.
The words of a thousand betrayers,
Advice hidden beneath the layers,
Are like rotten tomatoes to be thrown
Between each part, all my own.
Caught by the crossfire of my mind
I fall to my knees dumb and blind
Heckled through thoughts undefined
By a hundred voices without decorum
On the floor of an open forum.