Don’t do it. Just don’t. That’s it, just don’t go. Horrible. A couple of laughs, lots of cringing. I’m done.
Zoolander 2
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Author Archives: TheAuthor
Deadpool
Best movie ever. Maybe an exaggeration, but it is definitely up there. Quite possibly the best Marvel film to date. Very different than the others, but better. People who think it is like the others and want to bring their kids, I suggest you pay attention to the rating. It is rated “R” for a reason. But for those of us fine with such a rating, it is a magnificent movie.
One of my favorite things ever, when it’s done right, is fourth wall breaks. Given that this is Deadpool we’re talking about, I was expecting them, and I was not disappointed, starting with the opening credits. Between them and the constant pop culture references, this movie was non-stop laughs. The best references were about Ryan Reynolds and his other Marvel roles. This movie is also the bridge between X-Men and the rest of the MCU, if only barely, and the references to both are fantastic. As with all Marvel movies, be sure to stay through the credits.
Really, this movie was awesome. I want to watch it again, and again, and again just so I can start to get all the jokes. Absolutely see this one of you are good with the language, gore and sex, because it is one of the funniest movies you will see.
Moth in a Jar
Like a beast trapped and caged
I claw at the walls that I have built,
Defeated in this war I’ve waged,
Forever cursed to die and wilt.
Like a moth in a jar set by a light,
I can see what I want, but with all my might
I can never seem to win this fight.
The glass between I cannot break
For all I wish to take.
It’s right in front of me, all I long to save,
Instead I’ve just cuffed myself to the grave.
My struggle may forever last,
Smothered by the darkness I have cast.
Fear and doubt of the mask I play
Afraid of what I want to say.
Occupied, my heart waits for you to liberate.
Inside I’ve hidden my gold and jewels
That are yours if only you roll the stone away.
Break the ice of doubt and fear
And you my heart of warmth will seek to repay.
Through my fear I’ve surrendered tools,
Please take them up and extricate.
Take You Back
Somehow I keep finding myself writing poetry. Oh well, at least I’m not having to read it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I could, I do pray,
I would take you back to yesterday
And show you I may
The girl that you did slay.
Instead I am harassed
Sitting here just killing the past.
I cannot take all that you took from me,
But I will take all that you see.
My love I so had,
In trust I was clad.
‘Twas victory your side held so firmly
Until you came and shattered me
Like your precious sanity.
With undefendable reason
You drew us both to treason,
Now we’re soldiers and we’re in season
So here is blood to sink your knees in.
Take my hand and do this dance,
Our ever changing stance.
The time is now
For you to bow
My love I so had,
In trust I was clad.
‘Twas victory your side held so firmly
Until you came and shattered me
Like your precious sanity.
By our side great beasts of fire
Fight and never tire
With flame and fury all do admire
Until the world smothers this great flier.
So with sword and claw
We tear this world and set our law.
By death alone may it be stopped
So step right up and take what’s not been dropped.
My love I so had.
In trust I was clad,
‘Twas victory your side held so firmly
Until you came and shattered me
Like your precious sanity.
Your life was forfeit
The moment you entered my life.
That blade you laid wherever it would fit
Granted me your world of strife,
The control you kept was merely feint.
A life you had so full and free
Until you came and shattered me
Like your precious sanity
Before I get the question: yes, this is from the point of view of a character. It is actually a sneak peek at the books I am working on.
Epic by Conor Kostick
I enjoyed this book. I had started it a few years ago, but I don’t think I finished it. I’m glad I went back. The tale is a refreshing take on the overused “young hero leads rebellion to destroy dystopian society” story. It had the same basic idea as The Hunger Games and Divergent and the Inheritance Cycle and… you get the point. However, this story had a different feel. Aside from the general idea, the overall story arc was different. I don’t want to spoil anything, but it wasn’t the usual “nobody teen hero is discovered and put at the head of an established army to fight an age-long war” thing. A nice change.
It did suffer a little bit from what I have noticed in a lot of stories I’ve experienced lately, that the story is too easy. A couple of the major events didn’t really seem to put the heroes in serious danger. There wasn’t really the uncertainty that the hero would survive. Aside from him telling us that they were struggling, I didn’t really get the sense that they were having much difficulty. That brings me to another point. Overall, the writing was great, but I felt like he could have done a better job “showing, not telling” in places. But he did do a fantastic job in many places of painting a very vivid image in my mind. There were other minor issues with the writing sometimes (like using the
POV character’s name more than he should have in a short stretch) but it mostly fell away as I got more invested in the story. His dialogue did cause some issues for me at times through the whole thing. I got lost in some exchanges trying to figure out who was saying and doing what.
How he structured the story felt a bit off sometimes as well. It felt very fast sometimes and could have benefited from slowing down between events. His choice of point of view changes felt awkward as well. It was extremely irregular with most of the book from one character’s POV, but with half a chapter here and there from another character’s and one page from another’s and so on. This might not bother some people, but it felt strange to me.
Now I have just pointed out all the problems I had with the book, and most of these complaints really had very little effect on my enjoyment of the book. I still definitely recommend the story to young adults interested in fantasy and sci-fi. The book creates a nice mix of elements from both. He created a fascinating world and interesting characters. I am now about to start the second one and am looking forward to it, so I will waste no more time writing this.
The Revenant
Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach or short attention spans. That isn’t to say it is very boring, it is just quite long. It does manage to hold the attention pretty well and feels well-paced. I am usually one for lots of action and get fairly bored of there isn’t enough, but this one has a great balance that kept me from getting bored, but was still an emotionally charged and character-led film rather than an action-led one.
The camera work was amazing and have the film a very real feel. The special effects and makeup/costumes were excellent and made every amazing and horrific event look completely real. The actor was also phenomenal and Leo may have his chance for an Oscar with this one. Similar to Tom Hardy in Mad Max, he didn’t have many lines for most of the movie, but still got you into the mind of the character and really made you feel for what he was going through.
All around really good. Again, not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach, but if you can deal with some graphic violence, you should definitely see it.
Point Break
Pretty much exactly what I expected. Major adrenaline rush. Lots of intense action and amazing shots. Visually it was amazing. And right now I just want to go out and do epic stuff. Basically, felt a lot like GoPro and Red Bull commercials do.
There was so much amazing action that the story was kinda lost. The entire movie was focused on the extreme sports with little emphasis on story and writing. Some of the dialogue was fairly cheesy. Some of the characters felt incomplete and barely had any development.
Luckily I went into it wanting to watch crazy stunts and not for a great story. It definitely delivered in the crazy stunt department, so if that is what you want to see, do go. Absolutely go. If you want a good story, go see something else.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Fantastic. I have some minor issues with it, but overall, I loved it. So many tiny details that touches on all of the other films. I am 100% certain I didn’t catch all of them, but the ones I did were great. A couple of shots were taken practically straight from the previous films, and it was wonderful. But they did not go overboard. If I wasn’t such a geek, it would have been easy to never notice, so it wasn’t distracting.
Story wise, it was pretty good. Not wonderful, but pretty good. I was pretty invested in it the whole time. It did, however, suffer a bit from a problem that a lot of movies I’ve seen and books I’ve read recently suffer from: it was too easy. This one isn’t as bad as some others, but I didn’t really feel like they were at risk of failing for most of the big action scenes. The first half was better, but the second half really just felt like they couldn’t lose.
As far as characters go, I love most most of them. Kylo Ren was a little disappointing though. He wasn’t a bad character of villian per se, but he wasn’t as cool as I had hoped. Relating to my above point about the story, he wasn’t that dangerous. He was better than Ultron in that department, but not great.
As a movie, it was really well done. J.J. Abrams did a wonderful job of crafting a great movie. The camera work was wonderful and the whole movie was beautiful. The big lightsaber fight is one of the best of all the movies. While not as impressive as a lot of the prequel fights, it was visually amazing. The acting was a little cheesy, but given that it is a Star Wars movie, that was 150% expected. At least there was no whiney Skywalker kid this time, so that is a bonus over all the others. Daisy Ridley and Harrison Ford stole the show. The latter was no surprise, he stole the show during the original trilogy as well. The former was a pleasant surprise and I look forward to seeing her act in future films, especially the next Star Wars.
My biggest problem with this movie is the same as many Star Wars geeks: it trashed the Expanded Universe. While I am very disappointed by this, this film was an okay substitute. Some parts felt pretty familiar and were clearly pulled from the EU. I will always love the EU first, but I do like this story, so I am just going to keep loving both of them separately.
Overall I was very excited for this movie, as it is the first Star Wars to come out since I have been old enough to appreciate it, and I wasn’t disappointed. Maybe not the absolute best movie ever, but it was wonderful and I definitely recommend it to old fans and new comers alike.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
Not the best of the series. That being said, it was still good. There were some cool shots with dramatic effect. The camera was used with wonderful effect throughout. There were a couple of scenes that really stuck out as fantastically done. To avoid too many spoilers, I will not go into specifics. The acting was up to par with the other films in the series and I can’t say anything bad about it.
Now, as well done as it was, I’m not a huge fan. The book annoyed me because of how the story was executed and the movie didn’t do a whole lot to fix it. There were some issues with certain large plot points being of no real consequence. Spoiler alert: everyone dies and for nothing. That feeling of the deaths meaning nothing wasn’t quite so bad in the movie as it was in the book. The movie is faster, so you don’t get as long to reflect on the issues and they added a couple of scenes that gave some reason for the deaths beyond the author wanted those characters to die. I love the story told throughout the trilogy, but I really feel like, with this final part, she created a plot for the purpose of killing characters rather than killing characters to help the plot like it should be. The movie stuck a little too true to the book in this instance (not something you’re likely to ever hear me say again).
Overall, I think this film is a wonderfully crafted version of a story that has some issues. It’s still leaps and bounds ahead of Divergent.
Spectre
Fantastic movie. I’ve enjoyed all of the recent James Bond films, and this one is no different. They did a fantastic job bringing in all of Daniel Craig’s Bond films, wrapping them up perfectly. The story was satisfying with a good, if fairly predictable, ending. I did have to suspend my disbelief quite a bit throughout, but I was happy to because the special effects were amazing. There was plenty of incredible action and sweet gadgets, no surprise there, and there was a perfect touch of humor. The characters introduced to us in Skyfall that stuck around added to the movie and made it all the more enjoyable, particularly Q.
Overall, I’d say it was a great sendoff for Craig and it will get me through the next few years until they pick a new actor to take up the role.